Toussaint Lorenz
1  year  Mo Bro
Hosting an event

$0

My motivation

I've struggled with my mental health since I was very young due to growing up in an impoverished single parent household. In total I've moved 47 times in my life, majority of which happened before the age of 20. The neighborhood that we'd settled in when I was a child would seek out weakness and eat it alive any chance it got. Because of this I was bullied often in my youth and learned to be violent at a young age in response. I spent much time idolizing and looking up to drug dealers and gang members under the full impression that I'd become one by 6th grade.

However in 6th grade my mother landed a better paying job and moved me to a much nicer area and I went through a deep culture shock that lead to isolation, depression, suicidal thoughts, an attempt, and of course, being the new kid.

Although I was in a different environment, my identity had been engrained in a particular lifestyle for so long I felt the need to carry it, and if I'm being frank, still do to a degree. This amongst a multitude of other difficulties lead me to both doing drugs to numb myself, and selling at certain points.

Fast Forward to 27, married, with a son, and a struggling Alternative Hip-Hop Artist, and I was going through a particularly hard time resulting in much of those old feelings, frustrations, resentments, and unresolved memories overwhelming me. This time instead of seeking drugs and alcohol, I found professional help. Since then have been on a journey of love, peace, understanding, and recovery for myself. I just turned 30 by the way.

I'm not perfect by any means, and mess up plenty, but I continue to strive to implement the techniques and teachings I've learned to love myself and better my mental health. And because of this, I want to share and help those who may be in a similar place, or even better, attempt to help prevent going to that space in the first place.

Through music, and organizations like Movember, I hope I can help achieve that and be a beacon for those who may not know where to start looking for resources. In the last 8 years I've known 2 young men who committed suicide. I'd like to be able to help prevent anymore.

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