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Jared Hartwell
10  year  Mo Bro

$0

Target: $1,050
raised $3,380 since 2015
My motivation
Fundraising for cause areas including:
Men's health

Through the years my "WHY" for participating in Movember has been surface level. I struggled, like so many others, with taking care of my mental health. For the last 15 years or so I have experienced the ebbs and flows of depression. I've had some very high highs and low lows. All in all, I’d still say that I didn’t struggle with nearly as bad as others. So, I wanted to try my best to raise awareness and funds for a cause that up until last year, was slightly personal to me. Up until last year I had only danced with depression.
In March of last year my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 neuroendocrine carcinoma. A rare and aggressive cancer. He passed just 2 months after his diagnosis.
To add insult to injury, the very next week my wife and I experienced a miscarriage.
Both of those things individually can be difficult to process and grieve. The thing is, I didn't feel an overwhelming amount of sadness. I felt numb.
After that first week I just stopped feeling. My wife and I would go on a trip, spend time with friends and family, do things we enjoy doing. It all just felt like a blur. I was just going through the emotions.
After a few months the first emotion that came to me was not sadness but guilt. “Why am I not grieving? Why am I not sad my dad died? Why do I feel nothing about losing our baby? They deserve to be grieved, and I can’t even give them that.”
November came and I tried hyping myself up for Movember. I tried telling myself this year is more personal. It didn't work. I raised just under $300. I didn’t have the fire in my gut. More guilt.
Christmas came. My favorite holiday. Surely, I can feel some kind of joy? Nothing. I’d go through the motions yet again. More guilt.
New Years came. I tried sitting down and writing out my goals for the year, the trips I wanted to take and guess what? I felt nothing. No motivation to do anything. More guilt.
My wife was pregnant with our first born. The due date was quickly approaching. The "Honey-do" list growing, excitement building. We will be meeting our baby in just a few months. Yet I still felt (pretty much) nothing. Was I excited? Sure, occasionally. It would come in spurts. Yet again, the guilt rushed over me.
May 22nd arrived. A week and a half past her due date and 1 year exactly after my dad died. Our little girl came flying into this world headfirst (pun intended).
Just like that I finally began to feel. It didn’t come back all at once. It took a couple weeks of forcefully yet willingly being present in the day to day of being a new parent. It's kind of difficult being on autopilot while changing a poopy diaper after poopy diaper.
It was late June when I started feeling myself again. Grief would hit me harder than a Mack Truck. I finally started to process everything. I welcomed grief with open arms (even though it hurt like a SOB).
Fast forward to today. Movember is kicking off and I feel fired the f*ck up to raise some money, run some miles, and do some push-ups all in the name of men’s health.
This past year showed me I never really knew how dark depression can get. I dabbled with depression in the past. There's no denying I was in the thick of it last year.
In the past, I could quickly diagnose myself with depression, throw on some running shoes, and work to get myself out of the funk. This time it was different. It didn’t hit me hard or all at once. It slowly engrained itself, lingered, fogged my brain, added a few inches to my waistline, and took away a year of my life.
This year, it is more personal to me than it has ever been. I want to be there for my wife and daughter, physically and emotionally.
Movember is an organization that helps men do just that. I look forward to doing my part and raising some funds along the way.
Cheers,
Jared

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How I'm
getting involved
99 Problems But A Beard Ain’t One
Team captain Zak Gase
$0 Team funds raised
View Team Page
0 of 165 miles
walking
running
165 miles and 1 pushup per $ donated!
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Previous year's posts
16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .07 mi00:02:00

Previous year's activities
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
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16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .08 mi00:01:50

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .17 mi00:03:47

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .17 mi00:03:47

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .14 mi00:03:10

16 Week(s) Ago
I ran .62 mi00:09:00

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .14 mi00:03:10

16 Week(s) Ago
I ran .62 mi00:09:00

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .08 mi00:02:45

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .08 mi00:02:45

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .1 mi00:06:00

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .1 mi00:06:00

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .12 mi00:02:55

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .12 mi00:02:55

16 Week(s) Ago
I walked .09 mi00:03:15

16 Week(s) Ago
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Previous year's donations
19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Rusty Parker
$32

Blessings to you @the Cat Dad!!!

19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
an anonymous supporter
$50
19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Nutcracker Nolan
$115

Great job!

19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Steve Blazic
$100

Go Man Go!

19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Katie Lappe
$15

Thanks for being vulnerable about something like this. It helps others! Much love

19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Joe Meyer
$53
19 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Tina Stratman
$150

Mental Illness is horrible and crippling!! Thank you for doing this every year. Thank you most of all for sharing your journey. Love you!!

20 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Abagail Hagan
$32

Go Jared!

20 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Nathan Bennett
$50

Catdad is a beast!

20 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Rachel Blazic
$25
21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Pringles USA
$25

Look at you Mo! Pringles brand is popping in to celebrate your support of Movember with an extra $25.

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Monica Belcke
$25
21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
an anonymous supporter
$25

For a Pringles match

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Pringles USA
$25

Look at you Mo! Pringles brand is popping in to celebrate your support of Movember with an extra $25.

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Pringles USA
$25

Look at you Mo! Pringles brand is popping in to celebrate your support of Movember with an extra $25.

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
an anonymous supporter
$53

Thankful for you and glad you are prioritizing your health and those around you!!

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Pringles USA
$25

Look at you Mo! Pringles brand is popping in to celebrate your support of Movember with an extra $25.

21 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Zak Gase
$50
22 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Facebook Fundraising
$50
22 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Barry Engelhardt
$32
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