January 24, 2020. That is a normal day for most people. But for me, it was the day I logged into Facebook and saw one of my best friends, someone I consider a brother, announce that he had cancer. I was shaking. I had no idea what to do. Do I call? Do I offer support? How do I offer that support? What can I do? You feel helpless and like you have no avenues to do enough. But his energy and his positivity made a huge difference. He fought hard and made sure he could beat cancer. He displayed to everyone around him that cancer can be beaten. He was vulnerable and he was genuine. He told his story with passion and vigor like only he could. He pushed the hardest he possibly could and now, almost two years later, he is cancer free.
" It is okay for men to say, “I need help”, to be vulnerable, to be open and honest about their struggles and build a support system. "
Therefore, I fundraise each year so all the men who suffer like him can be heard. Because it is okay to not be okay. It is okay for men to say, “I need help,” to be vulnerable, to be open and honest about their struggles and build a support system. The stigma needs to be erased. The idea that a “man’s man” is tough, rugged, big, and scary is wrong. It is okay for men to cry. It is okay for men to ask for help. It is okay for men to tell each other they love each other. It is okay for men to say, “I’m not okay”.
I don’t want men to die from suicide because they didn’t have a support system. What I learned most from seeing one of my closest friends fight cancer was that these deaths are preventable. Movember helps ensure those men who need a support system can get it. That if they need a phone call, text message or video message, they can get it. It is always better to push one more day because it will get better. The mission and work of Movember truly makes a difference. They save lives. And I am thrilled to have seen their work in action. I will continue to fundraiser each year for every man who can’t tell his story like Zak did but needs to be told it will be okay. I fundraise to ensure that all men have the resources to keep pushing. I fundraise because I want to stop seeing men die too young.