Changing the way men think about their emotions: Payton Smith’s Story

For 24-year-old country musician Payton Smith, teaming up with Movember to raise awareness for men’s mental health was a no brainer. “I don’t think that mental health is talked about enough, but hearing people share their experiences and challenges has really helped me.”

Community is key to maintaining positive mental health

It’s important to be feel comfortable talking openly with your friends- to have a community you can rely on in your time of need. I am so grateful for my community in Nashville. I’m endlessly inspired by the people around me. I try to encourage everyone in my life that it's okay to not be okay. Even if it feels like struggle, I want people to know that I’m going through the same things. They may look very different, but we're all on this journey together. We're here for you. There are people to reach out to and that they have a safe space to be vulnerable with me.

Changing the way men think about their emotions

I love my mustache. I don't know that I could ever get rid of it all the way, but I’m growing it to a length where I can do something different with it – in the hope of sparking conversation with the people around me. I really hope to bring even more awareness to mental health, especially to a lot of my friends back in my hometown who may not fully understand the importance of mental health. I want to inspire men and make getting help accessible to everyone. Talking about your mental health is normal and we don’t have to keep our emotions inside. As men, there’s so much that we tend to keep locked up. We’re taught that we have to be tough and the only way to be tough is to keep your feelings bottled up. I want more men to understand that it's okay to say that you’re not okay, and it’s ok to ask for help, and to need someone to talk to. That’s what excites me most about working with Movember – having the opportunity to change the way men think about their emotions.

Feeling stronger through letting emotion out

I’ve always found that when you let it out, when you cry a good cry -everything seems clearer on the other side. By letting the emotion out, we free up space to think about the issue more clearly. We’re given every emotion for a reason – we don’t just happen to have these emotions -they exist to serve a purpose. My dad is the person that taught me that it’s okay to feel your feelings and to show a broad range of emotion. He encourages us to talk about our problems and surface the stuff that society told us to bury. My family has always prioritized open communication, which I’m so grateful for because it’s played such a huge role in my life. My dad really is my biggest inspiration, because he taught me so much about what it means to live openly and honestly.

Comparison is the thief of joy

I mean, you could write a book about all the things that are plaguing young men today. One of the things I notice my generation falling victim to is constant scrutinization and comparison. We spend so much of our lives online looking at what other people are doing online and measure ourselves up to it. Young men are struggling with not feeling like they’re enough, and I see it affecting so many people's mental state. I hope we can do better about reminding ourselves that we are enough. This is why starting conversations is so important. Remind yourself that everybody's going through something. We might only be seeing a snippet of their life through what they’re sharing on social media, but if we don’t make the effort to start conversations; we’ll never know what they’re really going through. Someone might see my highlight reel and think everything is perfect, even when I'm struggling just as much as the next person. It all comes back to being part of a community and being open and honest with how you’re feeling with the people you surround yourself with. No one can help you, if you don’t let them in. My hope is that by being vulnerable it becomes normalized in how we define modern masculinity. 

Through music we feel everything

When I didn't know how to say something, music was right there to say it for me. The reason why I started playing in the first place, was to convey something that I didn’t know how to say in conversation. Music has a unique way of helping people make sense of their feelings. It’s why we turn to music when we’re happy, sad, frustrated, heartbroken, etc. There’s music for every type of feeling. There is such a unique feeling when people gather to watch live music. One of the coolest feelings in the world is being on stage and knowing that, you’re all there in that moment, whatever beliefs or values you have, take a backset, because everyone’s there for the music, and we all have that in common. That's priceless, it's very special.

Fatherhood and gratitude for Movember

Becoming a dad is everything that I've ever wanted, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what kind of love comes from fatherhood. I’ve gotten advice from some of the new dads in my life, that it goes by so fast, and to try hard not to skip ahead. I'm always thinking ahead wanting to know what the future looks like, but everybody has told me that it goes by in a blink of an eye. I’m going to try to live in the moment as much as I possibly can, because I know I won't get that time back. I’m so honored to be part of Movember, what you guys are doing is super inspiring and very, important in today's world. It means a lot to be to be asked to be a part of it, and I can’t wait to see the impact my involvement will have in my community.

Listen to Payton’s new single here, and support his mission to change the way men think about their emotions here.