movember portraits
may fail you.
Make sure your
words don't.

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Our new tool that gives you the confidence to have conversations with the men in your life who may be struggling.

I’m sick of this. I miss friends. I miss people.
Yeah. Me too. But this won’t last forever.
Yeah, I guess so.
I just don’t know what to do.
What would you say next?

Connecting with a friend isn’t
always straight forward.

Take our
words for it.

Based on the ALEC framework (Ask, Listen, Encourage action, Check in) developed by R U OK? Movember Conversations uses simulated conversations to explore and practise how you might navigate a difficult conversation with someone you care about.

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Four simple steps – use ALEC to help you navigate a conversation with a friend who might be doing it tough.

Our new tool ‘Movember Conversations’ gives you the confidence to have conversations with the men in your life who might be struggling.

Huge thanks to R U OK? for developing the ALEC model.


Start by asking how he’s feeling. It’s worth mentioning any changes you’ve picked up on: has he stopped replying to texts? Does he sound different on the phone? Has he gone quiet in the group chat?

Use a prompt like, "You haven’t seemed yourself lately – are you feeling OK?”

Trust your instinct. Remember, people often say "I'm fine" when they’re not, so don't be afraid to ask twice.

You can use something specific you’ve noticed, like, “It’s just that you haven’t been replying to my texts, and that’s not like you.”


Give him your full attention. Let him know you’re hearing what he’s saying and you’re not judging. You don’t have to diagnose problems or offer solutions, but asking questions lets him know you’re listening.

Ask a question like, "That can't be easy – how long have you felt this way?"

Encourage Action

Help him focus on simple things that might improve how he feels. Is he getting enough sleep? Is he exercising and eating well? Maybe there’s something that’s helped him in the past – it’s worth asking.

Suggest that he share how he’s feeling with others he trusts. This will make things easier for both of you. And if he’s felt low for more than two weeks, suggest that he chat to his doctor.

Check In

Follow up your conversation with a phone call or FaceTime. This helps to show that you care; plus, you’ll get a feel for whether he’s feeling any better.

Huge thanks to R U OK? for developing the ALEC model.

"Movember Conversations is an interactive tool that helps people experiment and practise questions and responses, giving them the skills and confidence to approach difficult conversations."

  • Global Director OF Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember

So you know that friend
who you’re bit worried about.

That’s where Movember Conversations comes in. A free interactive online tool, Movember Conversations offers practical guidance on how to start a difficult conversation, how to be a good listener and how to create a setting of trust and openness with someone who might be struggling.

Check it out


To speak with someone immediately, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK), contact Lifeline Crisis Chat or contact National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) on 800-950-6264 or Text NAMI to 741741.

If you're ever worried that someone's life is in immediate danger, call 911 or go directly to emergency services.